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to love you from afar

 

distant in reality we may be, but this is the closest I’ve felt in all of eternity

to others we are merely faces on the screen,

divided by continents, connected by the internet.

and so it may be,

but the world around us is unaware of the work we are doing, narratives we are changing

the initial stages filled with uncertainty of whether you were taking us seriously,

i  soon realised my worries were dumbfounded, we became friends and there i saw it

this boy who was unknowingly changing my life, wonderfully kind with a big heart.

undoubtedly afraid of the stares and naysayers

i wasn’t sure if you could see beneath the darkness of my surface.

trying my best to mask my insecurities,

i did my best to thread very carefully, to let you see only parts of me.

you managed to breakdown all the barriers, you found my soul and you weren’t careless.

you lift me  up and you hold me down, you remind of all the good around,

my love for you is unconditional, you have my heart and i want you to keep it close.

i intend on staying with you through the highs and lows, supporting you through it all

there’s no greater privilege than being your friend, your lover and number one fan.

i am with you, on your side, rooting for you my darling,

our story might  be unwritten, but our adventure awaits!

there’s nothing more gratifying than realising dreams,

with my inspiration, motivator and partner in crime.

 

with love,

viddy

 

 

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reinvention

forget new year resolutions; spontaneous decisions for reinvention are the new solution

A couple of weeks ago, whilst in the library, It occurred to me that I was soon-to-be entering the dangerous territory of adulthood or “the twenties” as acknowledged by my peers. And stop right there, age is not just a number. Your age encompasses your unique encounters, thus far, so yes it is more than numbers; it provides and narrative into your lives and the experiences attached to the number is what sets you apart from the people around you.

In that line of thought, i began questioning my existence( as I would always) and my contributions to mankind. Quite frankly,l was sorely disappointed by the fact that although I DREAMT of being “Mother Teresa”, my actions taken to realise this dream of mine are grossly inadequate.

So it struck me, there is no point in having dreams that fail to materialise because you were too afraid to take the leap, because you were better at coming up with excuses instead of making it work and because you allow yourself to be infiltrated by the nasty doubts cast upon you as you make your plans known.

And thus, I decided that if I wanted my age to be a collective reflection of amazing experiences and the risks taken, I needed to take a leap.

and here I am, taking a leap because spontaneous decisions and deviation from the norm, the expected, is ultimately going to give my narrative an edge, you know just in case someone decides to write a book about me.

#1 on my agenda >>>>> Volunteer work with an Orphanage in India this summer! 

So my life plan is to get a job, save money and move to a village and set up a school to provide under-privileged children who lack the basic access to most powerful tool of all- education. I’m very inspired by education activists like Malala Yousafzi and Hannah Godefa who are selfless and determined to challenge the status quo  and they take concrete action. I lack most of it and having passion alone will not sustain this dream, action has to be taken and I am about 60% in to finding and confirming a charity that will be willing to host me for the duration of my volunteer work. the thought of it excites me and this positive step in the right direction brings with it so much hope that it abates the fear. the fear that is a function of the imminent uncertainty that comes with leaping out of your comfort-zone.

#2 would be >>>>>>>> Learning How to Code

Erm well basically acquiring new skills is always a bonus and I personally feel that challenging yourself to do things that are unconventional is only going to nurture you into a well-rounded(not physically) individual. Also, I was at a Microsoft event just now and Vanessa who works as a software engineer with Skype inspired this fervor to want to venture out into the unknown realm of htmls, javas, c–shell scripting and basically all that cool shizzle. and being able to create your own app, web-design etcetra is pretty neat and I can do it, with hard-work, a hell lot of patience and an immeasurable amount of self-belief

#3 #3 #3, triple-three-threat, triple the emphasis >>> Fluency in Arabic

So I completed a 2 term course on modern standard arabic for beginners and that is step 1 to getting anywhere when it comes to languages, especially rich languages like arabic, (masha’allah) BUT, I want to be able to speak it to people, to be able to communicate and engage in a two-way discussion and not just me conversing with my mother who doesn’t understand any alif, baa, taa or tharmabutan or one-way connectors. Arabic is such a perplex language but it is beautiful work of art.The Arab culture is often misconstrued by the masses as a religion that incites hate and violence, well that is mostly because many people choose to be ignorant to the fact that extremists choices are not a meta-phrase of the views of the billion others. In the process, appreciation of such a rich culture is less emphasised upon and instead possible cultural efforts are diverted to igniting wars with no ends(this is obviously a post for another time).

It’s long and boring I know, who the hell should care about how I plan on devoting my time.  I don’t expect you to, but I do hope that this would have sparked something within;maybe something that you have been longing to do but never had to courage to do so. This is the chance, this your life, and it is literally ending one second at a time. Ultimately, what you make out of all the seconds will allow for minute of solitude and necessary reflection and maybe all the collective minutes saved and not wasted will allow you to look into the mirror at someone who’s lived, someone who has made life’s routine a beautiful adventure, your adventure.

Shukran

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