I can’t seem to construct a coherent sentence that accurately describes how I am feeling; to say that I am experiencing grave sadness would be a bit much but it sure feels close enough. When I look into the mirror, all I see is a face staring back at me appearing rather nonchalant. I look away, feeling uneasy as I wonder if my feelings are justified or if this is a case of overreaction. Summer is ending, three months of doing nothing remotely productive is coming to an end and my last year as an undergrad is meant to commence shortly. Well, at least not before I fulfil my dream of visiting Istanbul. At this very moment, my excitement is overshadowed by the fear of time passing by too quickly. Ironically, I seem to be spending too much the energy worrying about losing time.
Maybe the thing that bothers me the most is the uncertainty of ever experiencing such a great deal of emotion again, be it the excitement I feel when I’m on the phone talking to T, or love and comfort I feel when watch my family come together for me. Yet there is comfort in the knowledge that I have vivid memories of the summer that will inspire the choices I am going to make. For now, I anticipate my foreign adventure to be the best coming of age gift yet.
VCR by The XX reminds me of you T 🙂