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To you, from me.


I look upon the sky for comfort & solace on days I long to see your beautiful face. Apart we may be, yet the sky we share keeps us close, always.

Trying to make sense of my current predicament, I’m unable to gain any sort of clarity and all I see is limited by my blurred vision from the tears welled up in my eyes. 

I prefer taking calculated risks, knowing what I might lose before I plunge in, but this feels different. I  feel compelled, it almost feels like I’m possessed, to want to dive in, put all my eggs in one basket without any form of diversification. I am very much risk-averse in nature so “making moves” is highly consequential and the danger that follows is unprecedented. 

This fear I am consumed with is so influential in the worst way possible. Am I allowing myself to be directed by my fear and will I live in regret for only living vicariously through others but not on my own. Maybe my conscientious choices are a testament for a life of security and stability, or a lackluster trajectory. 

I long to be close enough to you, to appreciate the finer details of your face to remind you that you are a work of art and your smile is electrifying. I want to be able to construct coherent sentences when the topic of you is raised, to express my many reasons for wanting to be in your life as I want for you to be in mine. 

The you in my story might change over time and that’s inevitable . Yet I hope for you to stay for now, if  that’s alright. You are changing my narrative without even knowing it and everyday I spend getting to know you, I grow more courageous. I hope for you to know how you make me feel all warm and tingly inside. I look forward to the day I am brave enough to face the possibility of rejection from you, and when that day comes I’ll celebrate the existence of fear; for without it, the pursuit lacks passion and what is life without passion amiright???

Vidya

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